DTR
For those of you lameos out there who don't watch MTV's Awkward (watch it, people.), DTR stands for "Define the Relationship". Since Valentine's Day is coming up in a week, I figured it would be a good idea for me to help some of you DTR if you are caught in the limbo of not knowing whether or not to get your boo thang a gift or not. Those of you who know me might be thinking to themselves "who is she to be giving relationship advice?!" because yeah, well I've been single for close to 2 years now. Ouch. But that doesn't mean I haven't been through countless trial and error processes of everything leading up to an actual relationship. So yes, I'm drawing from my own personal experiences, my friend's personal experiences, and summarizing it into a few generic situations you could find yourself in whether you're in a relationship or in that unknown phase where you just don't know what the heck is going on. Phew. Here goes nothing.
1. The Repeat Offender
Alright, this sucker just keeps popping up in the confusion of "should we try it AGAIN?!" Is it worth it? Why hasn't it ever worked out in the past? This could be the ex you just can't let go of, or maybe just someone that you've always had something special with but haven't acted upon it. They're the one who you finally let go and then a simple text saying, "Hey I miss you, let's hang out!" draws you right back into the mess of things. I know you've all had something like this, and I think this is one of the most confusing situations to DTR. Obviously, there has been reasons why it never worked out in the past, but that can just be trivial things such as timing. You've also got something that makes you hold on. So what do you do? My best advice: decide to dive right in and REALLY try to see where things could go, or let it go. Don't let it be an in between situation any longer. Tell yourselves, yes, let's go on a few dates and decide if it's going to work once and for all, OR next time you get that "I miss you" text, tell yourself you don't want to go down that road again. It's easier said than done I KNOW. But if you're ever going to get past it, you've got to picture this guy/girl with a "yes" and "no" box next to them, and then check one. There are no more "maybes".
2. BFF or BF
As far as identifying this relationship, I think it's pretty self explanatory. You are really good friends -REALLY good friends, but there's also that chemistry between the two of you, and you don't want to ignore it anymore. This is one that I'm really drawing from personal experience, and one that I'm not very happy with the outcome. Everyone always says that the best relationships come from being friends first which I'm going to necessarily disagree with. And I also think if it's really bugging you to find out if you could be something more than just friends then by all means go for it. You'll never know if you never try. However, make sure going into it, you're both on the same page as to what would happen if it ended up not working out, especially if you value your friendship a lot. To go from talking to someone almost all day every day, to walking past them without even acknowledging each other, sucks. Period. You've really got to make a promise to each other that you're willing to get past the hurt feelings or awkwardness in order to be friends again because no valuable friendship is worth losing over a failed relationship. End of story.
3. The Next Morning
Okay, what in the world do I mean by "The Next Morning"? This is the guy you made out with at a party, possibly intoxicated, and you're left wondering the next day if it could be anything more than that: a drunk hookup. Honestly, nine times out of ten, the answer is going to be no. First, you might not even really know anything about him/her, especially important details like their oh I don't know... name? number? But okay, let's say you do know their name, and they saved their number in your phone. Now comes the actual deciphering to decide if they were really into you or not. First, you have to ask yourself if they actually held conversations with you. Did they show an interest in actually getting to know you or were they more interested in the obvious? How drunk were the both of you? Alcohol has a funny way of making you do things contrary to your "norm". Unless he/she really went out of their way to talk to you for a while and wasn't really drunk, I'd just let it go. Sure, you had fun with them, but as far as turning into a possible relationship, the chances are slim shadyyy. On the contrary, if you really do want to see if they have an interest in something more, wait a day or two, text them, and find out, but just be aware that they might just reject the idea all together. It's cool, it happens, and maybe you'll be the 1/10 that starts into something more.
That's alllllll folks. Have fun DTRing. It really isn't fun when you think about it, but after you DTR, you'll feel a LOT better about things. As for me, I'll go ahead and DTR my relationship with food. I think he might propose soon.... :D
Until next time..
Stay classy,
Megan LouAnn
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